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CRESPOGRAM REPORT

JANUARY 28, 2013

CHIEFY AND ME
FROM GOVERNMENT INFORMANT, TO DEFENDANT, TO GAY SLURS, MANNY OROSA IS JUST TOO FUNNY TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY
WARNING - THIS STORY CONTAINS LANGUAGE YOU MIGHT FIND OFFENSIVE

Manny Orosa wasn’t interim Chief of Police for 5 hours before I realized that that he didn’t have a good grip on reality, and that I could probably rattle him whenever I wanted.


At Manny’s first staff meeting he couldn’t resist taking a shot at me by telling then Major Al Alvarez, to tell me that I could take my outstanding public records requests to the Police Department and shove them up my ass.


I responded Chiefy’s message in the best way I could.  I went out and collected all the documents and stories about his years on the force, and wrote a detailed story about his involvement in the killing of the small time drug dealer Leonardo Mercardo, and how when confronted with the fact that he was going to charged with helping to cover up the murder, he rolled over and took “limited use immunity” to become a government witness, along with the allegations that he had been the tip-off cop for a Bolita Kingpin named Valdez, and of his relationship with Tomas Regalado, as recounted by Joe Carollo.  You can read it all HERE.


About the only thing I left out of that story - because I only learned of it later - was that when Manny was informed by the Feds that he was going to be charged with helping to cover up Mercardo’s murder, he took a dive like a Southern Belle with the vapors and just flat out fainted.


Manny never could take pressure.


Whenever he had a chance, Manny liked to make sure that people knew that I was a “convicted felon,” which is why when the issue came up at the City Commission meeting last week about him assigning on-duty cops to protect Gary Nadar’s art gallery, and Commissioner Suarez let it be known that I was the one that had raised the issue, Manny just couldn’t resist referring to me as a “convicted felon.”


Far better than calling me a “convicted felon,” off and on I heard bits and pieces of a story that Manny was telling folks that the reason that I started writing about the City was that I was gay and that I had a lover who had worked for the City and who had been treated badly, and that this was my way of getting even.


It was actually pretty funny, and I would mention the guy’s name, except he hasn’t a clue about any of this, and I’m sure it would just embarrass him to find out that he had been linked to me in this way.


But while it was funny it also upset me.


It upset me because the guy that Manny kept telling people was my lover is old and ugly, and I would have had to have a real grudge against my dick to ever pull it out in front of this guy.


In all honestly, even Manny Orosa is better looking than this guy.


There has to be some accounting for standards here, and if Manny Orosa wanted to go around calling me gay, or  whatever, then I figured that the least he could do is make my gay lover somebody that I could be proud to be seen with, much less have sex with.


So, I’ve given this some thought, and here’s what I suggest Manny.


If you feel that you must go around telling people that I’m gay, then tell them I’ve got this hot 30 something Latin boyfriend.  Tell them that he really has a nice smile.  I’ve always had girlfriends and an ex-wife who had nice smiles, so make my boyfriend have a nice smile too.


Then, tell him that he’s a lawyer.  That will make the stupid people who think that I’m incapable of doing my own legal work and analysis that I have a lawyer boyfriend who does it for me happy.


And lastly, all lovers need names, so why don’t we call my new boyfriend Eric.


Of course, you might feel the need to embellish the story even more, and I’ve given that some thought too.  If you really need to polish the story more maybe you and Commissioner Sarnoff could work on it together.  He’s a guy whose known for being able to put a spit shine on an apple, and he certainly doesn’t like me, so I’m sure that he’d be more than happy to think up evil stories about bondage and other freaky stuff.


I think together both of you could come up with a really good story about how Eric and I met, and where we go to do the wild thing, and all of those good details that you need to make this a story that folks will really enjoy.


In the meantime, see if you can find a couple books on what it takes to be a real Police Chief, and have your Executive Assistant Junior read them to you as you ride around town, because between spending time making up stories about me, or lying to your officers about incidents like Placido Diaz pulling a gun in a restaurant, the fact is that your police force is slowly crumbling down around you, and no amount of silly bullshit can keep people from realizing that.


It’s Miami, Bitches!

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