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CRESPOGRAM REPORT

FEBRUARY 11, 2014

DON’T TAKE THIS AS A THREAT ASSHOLE, TAKE IT AS A PROMISE

I GOT WORD TODAY THAT LUIS CABRERA WAS OVERHEARD AT CITY HALL TALKING ABOUT HOW ANGRY HE WAS OVER MY STORIES ABOUT THE JOB THAT HE ARRANGED FOR HIS HALF BROTHER IN THE PARKS DEPARTMENT, AND THAT AS A RESULT CABRERA WAS SUPPOSEDLY DETERMINED TO HURT ME AS PAYBACK.


THIS IS A THREAT FROM A NUTCASE MORON WHO HAS A HISTORY OF EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWNS, INCLUDING HIS CRYING JAG WHEN HE WAS ESSENTIALLY “FIRED” FROM THE POLICE DEPARTMENT BY CHIEF EXPOSITO.


NOW MY SOURCE DIDN’T PROVIDE ME ANY DETAILS ON HOW CABRERA WANTS TO HURT ME, AND EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THAT CABRERA AND THE OTHER NITWIT MORONS I WRITE ABOUT HAVE ORGASMIC FANTASIES ABOUT WHAT THEY’D LIKE TO DO TO ME IN A DARK ALLEY, ALL OF THEM ARE ESSENTIALLY COWARDS AND AFRAID OF THE DARK, SO I WOULD ASSUME AT THIS POINT THAT CABRERA HAS SOME FEVERED DREAMS ABOUT SETTING ME UP SOMEWAY. 


AT THE SAME TIME I KNOW THAT IT’S POSSIBLE THAT LUIS MIGHT ONE DAY GO POSTAL.


SO LUIS, LET ME EXPLAIN THE RULES THAT START TODAY.  IF YOU WANT TO WALK AROUND AND CALL ME NAMES UNDER YOUR BREATH LIKE YOU DO EVERYTIME YOU SEE ME AT CITY HALL, KNOCK YOUR LIGHTS OUT.


HOWEVER, DON’T EVER IN YOUR CRAZIEST, MOST PSYCHOTIC FANTASIES THINK THAT I’M GOING TO LET YOU HURT OR KILL ME BECAUSE I WRITE ABOUT YOUR DUMB ASS.


THIS ISN’T A THREAT, BUT IT IS A PROMISE.  IF YOU EVER DECIDE YOU WANT TO PHYSICALLY HURT OR KILL ME YOU BETTER DO IT, AND DO IT RIGHT, BECAUSE IF YOU DON’T, PAYBACK IS GOING TO BE A MOTHERFUCKER!


YOUR PAL AL

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