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CRESPOGRAM REPORT

FEBRUARY __, 2014

GET WELL LUIS

AT LAST WEEK’S CITY COMMISSION MEETING, DEPUTY POLICE CHIEF/ACTING ASSISTANT CITY MANAGER LUIS CABRERA REPORTEDLY FAINTED.  HE WAS TAKEN TO THE HOSPITAL, AND THE FIRST STORY WAS THAT LUIS HAS BEEN ON A STRICT DIET AND THAT’S WHAT CAUSED HIM TO FAINT.


THE NEXT DAY THAT STORY CHANGED TO LUIS HAS BEEN UNDER A LOT OF STRESS LATELY AND THAT’S WHAT CAUSED HIM TO FAINT.


NO MATTER WHAT THE CAUSE, WE WISH LUIS WELL, AND I’M SURE THAT HE WAS SORRY THAT HE WAS NOT AT CITY HALL WHEN HIS BROTHERS AND SISTERS ON THE POLICE FORCE CAME TO PROTEST THE TREATMENT THEY’VE RECEIVED BY THE REGALADO ADMINISTRATION. 


IF I MIGHT BE SO BOLD AS TO OFFER A LITTLE BIT OF MEDICAL ADVICE TO MY PAL LUIS, I WOULD SAY THAT THE BEST WAY TO GET RID OF STRESS IS TO OPEN YOUR HEART AND CLEANSE YOUR SPIRT OF ALL THE EVIL THAT IS INSIDE.  MAYBE YOU COULD START WITH TESTIFYING UNDER OATH ABOUT HOW YOUR HALF-BROTHER GOT THAT NICE, CUSHY CITY JOB IN THE PARKS DEPARTMENT.


IT’S NOT GOOD TO KEEP ALL THAT STUFF BOTTLED UP LUIS.  START TELLING THE TRUTH AND YOU’LL BE SURPRISED HOW SOON THE STRESS GOES AWAY.


IN ANY EVENT, GET WELL SOON BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU’RE ONE OF MY MAIN DOGS, BRO.

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