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CRESPOGRAM REPORT

OCTOBER 4, 2013

 
HOTLIPS DOESN’T LIKE CLOCKS
WHAT DOES LUIS CABRERA DO WHEN HE’S NOT GIVING JOBS TO FAMILY AND FRIENDS?

Madelin “Hot Lips” Pacheco bringing a little bag of joy to City Hall, on one of her many visits to meet with Tomas Regalado.

Poor Madeline “Hot Lips” Pacheco.  For a while after she arranged a transfer from Grants Administration to the NET Office she discovered that she had to account for her hours when she came to work like the little people.


That can get stressful for a gal like “Hot Lips” who figures that coming and going as she pleases is something that she’s entitled to do as part of her status as a Special Friend of Tomas Regalado.


So, it didn’t take long after Kaydee Wheeler retired as the Director of NET, before “Hot Lips” went whining to Luis Cabrera that having to show up for work every day at a regular time like all the other employees was just creating too much of a strain on her.  Luis Cabrera being the kind of guy that he is, immediately realized that for a friend of Tomasito, anything that she wanted was okay with him.


So, Luis Cabrera issued the following Memo.

These provisions were only put into play for the NET Office, and for “salaried employees” like Pacheco, because while no one has told me this, even I’m smart enough to figure out that if this system were implemented city-wide, a lot of employees would not show up for work except when they wanted to.


In fact, given the way that this little memo was written, it’s hard not to believe that it was written exclusively to allow “Hot Lips” to cruise in and out of the MRC at her leisure.


Why you ask, would she be allowed to do that? Well “Hot Lips” has a full calendar that includes her little visits to City Hall to chit chat with her pal, the Mayor, and then it turns out that being the enterprising woman that she is, she also runs a business on the side that requires her time.


In fact, records show that she’s been running this business since before she came to work for the City, but it was only in July that she decided to apply for an Outside Employment Request.

That “Hot Lips;” collecting $65,000 a year along with a phone allowance - which Cabrera also approved being increased - just seems to flit from here to there, and mostly there while stopping along the way to make sure that her city check gets deposited.


And of course, the ever stupid Luis Cabrera is right there ready to make sure that whatever “Hot Lips” wants, “Hot Lips” gets, because if she doesn’t get what she wants she starts crying and whining and making a scene.


The only thing that no one can figure out though, is what this woman does when she actually shows up for work. Of course, you know I’m just joking. Everybody does knows exactly what she does.  She’s screwing the pooch!


It’s Miami, Bitches!

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