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CRESPOGRAM REPORT

NOVEMBER 15, 2013

IT MADE ME FEEL WARM AND FUZZY

DEAR CHIEFY,


I’VE BEEN LIVING IN MIAMI SHORES FOR OVER 20 YEARS, AND WHILE I SEE THE OCCASIONAL MPD SQUAD CAR GOING UP OR DOWN THE BOULEVARD, I’D NEVER ACTUALLY SEEN ONE IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD BEFORE.


ON WEDNESDAY MORNING, I LOOKED OUT MY BEDROOM WINDOW TO CHECK ON THE WEATHER AND SAW A NICE, 2008 CHEVY MPD SQUARD CAR PARKED IN FRONT OF MY CONDO.  I WAS SURPRISED, BUT FIGURED THAT MAYBE THE OFFICER WAS ACROSS THE STREET AT THE BANK.


AFTER HAVING BREAKFAST, I WENT AND LOOKED, AND THE CAR WAS STILL THERE.  I DID MY NORMAL MORNING INTERNET SURFING AND THE CAR WAS STILL THERE.  I TOOK A SHOWER AND IT WAS STILL THERE.


I GOT DRESSED GRABBED MY CAMERA, WENT OUT AND TOOK SOME PHOTOS, AND ASKED THE GUARD IN THE BANK PARKING LOT WHERE THE OFFICER FROM THE CAR HAD GONE, AND HE DIDN’T KNOW.


I ACTUALLY ENDED UP SPENDING MOST OF MY MORNING WONDERING WHY ONE OF YOUR SQUAD CARS WAS PARKED OUTSIDE MY BEDROOM WINDOW.  I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE STAYED ALL DAY WATCHING UNTIL THE OFFICER CAME BACK, BUT I HAD OTHER THINGS TO DO, SO I LEFT, AND WHEN I GOT HOME LATER IN THE AFTERNOON, THE CAR WAS GONE.


NOW, I KNOW THAT I’M NOT PALS WITH THE MAYOR AND YOU LIKE BIG-TIME ART DEALER GARY NADAR, AND I’M CERTAINLY NOT A PRETEND DEPUTY CHIEF OF POLICE LIKE LUIS CABRERA, AND FOR THAT MATTER I DIDN’T EVEN SUBMIT AN APPLICATION TO HAVE A POLICE CAR PARKED IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE LIKE I SUGGESTED THAT FOLKS IN THE CITY SHOULD DO, BUT I WANT AN MPD SQUAD CAR BACK IN FRONT OF MY CONDO. 


I REALIZED WHEN I SAW IT HAD GONE THAT HAVING AN MPD SQUAD CAR PARKED FEET FROM MY CONDO PROVIDED ME A COMFORT LEVEL THAT I HADN’T KNOWN I WOULD MISS UNTIL IT WAS GONE.  A COUPLE OF MY NEIGHBORS ALSO APPRECIATED IT BEING THERE SINCE OUR AREA HAS OCCASIONALLY BECOME A TARGET OF CAR BURGLARS.


I THINK THE LEAST YOU CAN DO CHIEFY, GIVEN THAT WE’RE NEIGHBORS AND ALL, IS HAVE ONE OF YOUR CARS PARKED OUTSIDE OF MY BEDROOM. 


YOUR PAL,


AL


PS: BY THE WAY CHIEFY, WHY WAS THAT SQUAD CAR PARKED IN FRONT OF MY BEDROOM WINDOW ON WEDNESDAY?

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