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CRESPOGRAM REPORT

APRIL 23, 2012

COUNTY SIGN CODE
WRITTEN WITH A CAST IRON INK PEN, ENFORCED WITH A SILLY PUTTY PENCIL

In January, I did a piece about how the city was planning to put LED billboards on a several buildings, including the Olympia Theater, the Knight Center and the Children’s Museum on Watson island.


The proposed Ordinance was withdrawn from consideration and allowed to linger in the shadows until the last Commission meeting when it was revived, and passed a 1st Reading.


It was expected that this week the Ordinance would come up for a 2nd Reading. Last week however, the Miami-Dade County Attorney, in a strongly worded and detailed legal opinion spelled out that what the city wants to do is illegal.  The letter is at the bottom of this piece.


This was followed by a strongly worded OP-ED piece in Miami Today, that opened with these thoughts:


        “Miami has a new strategy to rescue cash-strapped

        amenities: destroy what gives them stature and    

        commercialize what's left.


         As long as the city can pocket something to fill budget

         gaps that elected officials created, it's proving quite

         willing to ruin its assets.


         That is the most flattering interpretation of the city

         commission's vote last week to allow firms to plaster

         blinking illuminated billboards all over city parks and

         municipally owned venues.


         If we don't agree that commissioners will do anything

         to fill budget holes, we're left with the common theory

         that they'll do anything to fill holes in their campaign

         accounts or their own pockets.


         Surely, they can't possibly think massive billboards

         everywhere enhance Miami, a city whose beauty is

         one of its key economic resources, luring residents,

         tourists and investors by the hundreds of thousands.


         Our commissioners just can't be that insensitive to the

         place they live — can they?”


Of course they can!  This is Miami, Bitches!


Sadly, the County Attorney’s opinion might carry more weight if the county itself wasn’t in cahoots with the AAA Arena, and the LED screen that is draped across the front of the building that has become a giant illegal LED billboard for advertisers.

Here’s the portion of the County Attorney’s letter that addresses this sign:

The only advertising that is allowed on this sign is advertising that is related to either the Miami Heat or upcoming events at the Arena.


Of course the notion that the City if Miami would in any way step in and demand that the Arena folks obey the law, given all the favors that continue to be exchanged between the City and the Heat folks, is laughable.


Where else would His Ignorance have an opportunity to meet, much less have his picture taken with someone like Sean Penn?

So, since the City would never do anything so drastic as tell the AAA and Heat folks to obey the law, you would expect that the County would step up and act like the responsible enforcer of it’s own Ordinance.


Not really.  Here’s how the County Attorney deftly passes the buck.

So it all continues to be one big circle jerk, with everybody pointing to someone else as the one responsible for enforcing the law, while no one enforces the law, and the 5 Dwarfs at the Miami City Commission figure out even more ways to make the city look like shit.


Although the LED Ordinance doesn’t appear on the agenda for this week’s Commission meeting, do not fear, your City Commission has come up with another scheme to make the city streets look even trashier.


In Regaladoland, not only do they want to plaster giant LED billboards on city buildings, now they want to allow advertising signs on the sidewalks.  It’s just a matter of time before one of these morons decides that having stuck signs and billboards everywhere else, they might as well stick them up the asses of the citizens.


Here’s the proposed Ordinance.

And just to make sure that Regalado and his cronies continue to get the lapdog treatment from the Miami Herald, here’s a another little favor on the agenda that would allow the Miami Herald putting even more advertising banners on it’s building.

However, given the rapacious and self-serving behavior of the Miami Herald, you can bet that any “public service”  banners that they stick on the South side of their building - they’d never stick any “public service banners on the money making East and West sides - will first and foremost have some benefit for the Miami Herald.


And so it goes.  On the sides of buildings, and soon on the sidewalks, the 5 Dwarfs who comprise the Miami City Commission  continue to get on their knees every time the Mayor of Regaladoland shows up with another scheme that only serves as a metaphor for the fact that the City of Miami is for sale, and most likely not even to the highest bidder.


It’s Miami, Bitches!


LEGAL OPINION FROM MIAMI-DADE COUNTY ATTORNEY

The Herald already has a deal that allows them to have 2 giant murals on the East and West side of their building, which generates a nice piece of change for them.

PAGE LINK - COPY AND PASTE

Copy the link below, and it will be a permanent link to this page that you can post on Facebook, or anywhere else.

MONDAY MORNING UPDATE

The below letter was hand delivered to the Mayor and members of the Miami City Commission on Monday morning.