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CRESPOGRAM REPORT

SEPTEMBER __, 2013

NOTE TO CRESPOGRAM READERS

WHILE THIS NOTE IS SPECIFICALLY ADDRESSED TO “THOMAS MAGNUM” IT’S SOMETHING THAT I THINK ALL OF YOU WHO PROVIDE ME WITH TIPS NEED TO UNDERSTAND.


“THOMAS”  I GOT YOUR LETTERS, AND I AM ESPECIALLY INTERESTED IN YOUR FIRST LETTER.  I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU WOULD SEND ME THE NAMES AND CONTACT INFORMATION OF THE WOMEN INVOLVED.  IT IS TRUE THAT I COULD TRY TO GET THEIR NAMES AND INFORMATION THROUGH A PUBLIC RECORDS REQUEST, BUT GIVEN HOW EXPLOSIVE THE INFORMATION IS THAT YOU PROVIDED, THIS WOULD AT THE VERY LEAST SEND OFF SHOCK WAVES IN THE AGENCY THAT HAS THAT INFORMATION, AND WOULD LET THE PEOPLE WHO ARE INVOLVED IN THIS NASTY BUSINESS KNOW THAT I AM ON TO THEM.


CONTRARY TO WHAT MANY PEOPLE THINK, GETTING PUBLIC RECORDS WITHIN MIAMI-DADE COUNTY, AND ESPECIALLY CITIES LIKE MIAMI, BECOMES AN INCREASINGLY DIFFICULT, IF NOT AN IMPOSSIBLE TASK ON A STORY LIKE THE ONE YOU TIPPED ME OFF TO, BECAUSE WE’RE TALKING ABOUT POTENTIAL CRIMINAL PROSECUTION, AND REMOVAL FROM OFFICE.


SO, AND THIS APPLIES TO EVERYONE, IF YOU WANT TO SEND ME INFORMATION, THEN DON’T JUST TEASE ME AND EXPECT THAT I WILL START SLOGGING AROUND TRYING TO GET THE INFORMATION ONE DOCUMENT AT A TIME, OR TRY TO FIGURE OUT THE IDENTITY OF THE PEOPLE INVOLVED SO THAT I CAN TRY AND TALK WITH THEM AND FIND OUT WHAT GOING ON WITH THEIR PROBLEMS OR ISSUES.


I OFTEN DON’T HAVE THE TIME, ENERGY, AND SOMETIMES THE MONEY THAT IS REQUIRED TO GO SEARCHING FOR INFORMATION THAT YOU ALREADY POSESS AND COULD SEND ME, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, IF PEOPLE FIND OUT THAT I’M LOOKING FOR INFORMATION SOONER THAN I WOULD LIKE THEM TO KNOW THAT I’M AROUND, THEN THEY HAVE THE ABILITY TO DESTROY DOCUMENTS, THREATEN PEOPLE, AND GENERALLY MAKE ANY REAL INVESTIGATION IMPOSSIBLE.


AS TO YOUR STORY “THOMAS,” METAPHORICALLY I WANT TO BE INSIDE THE ROOM BEFORE ANY OF THE PEOPLE INVOLVED EVEN KNOW THAT I’M ON TO THEM.


AS FOR FOLKS WHO USE SECRET SENDER TO PROVIDE ME INFORMATION, I DO NOT REPLY BECAUSE IT COSTS $2 PER REPLY, AND ALSO BECAUSE THAT WOULD CREATE A PAPER TRAIL.


SO, WHILE I APPRECIATE THE TIPS AND LEADS THAT I GET, I NEED MORE THAN A TEASE LIKE, “AL, GUESS WHICH ONE OF OUR COMMISSIONERS WAS REMOVED FROM HIGH SCHOOL FOR MASTURBATING IN A CLASSROOM?” (A REAL SECRETSENDER MESSAGE)


IF YOU KNOW WHO IT WAS, THEN TELL ME THEIR NAME, BECAUSE I’M NOT A CONTESTANT IN A GAME SHOW TRYING TO GET POINTS FOR GUESSING THE RIGHT ANSWER, AND ALSO, TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I’M MORE INTERESTED IN WHICH CITY COMMISSIONER IS JERKING OFF THE TAXPAYERS TODAY, THEN WHO WAS JERKING OFF IN HIGH SCHOOL.


THANK YOU,


AL CRESPO