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CRESPOGRAM REPORT

MARCH 19, 2012

A CRESPOGRAM RANT
WE NEED A NATURAL DISASTER TO WIPE AWAY THIS MAN MADE DISASTER

If there was anything resembling real justice in the world, then all the politicians and slick wheeler-dealers who are responsible for the Space Ship masquerading as a baseball stadium being plopped down in Little Havana would be required to park their cars as far away from their homes as the poor, old and put upon people who live around the stadium were told last week they would have to do for every home game by that fucking weasel, Art Noriega.


That’s what real shared sacrifice means.  It’s what Jesus meant when he said to his followers, “Do unto others as they would do unto you.”


But of course that’s never going to happen, because in the real world those who consider themselves the Screwers never expect that anyone will screw them, and therefore live by their own Golden Rule, which is, “Do unto others, and keep doing it at every opportunity.”


The sad part is that not only was this stadium deal nasty - and probably bound to get nastier as more information seeps from the sewer about how the real inter-workings of how this deal was put together - but even the most devout can’t expect Jesus to intercede on the side of the poor people on this one.


For those who live their lives asking, “What would Jesus do?,” the answer when it comes to standing up for the put upon neighborhood people asked to make a “sacrifice” for the benefit of the visiting baseball fans, is that in Miami, Bitches!, God’s local representative, Archbishop Thomas Wenskie, was too busy warming up his pitching arm so as not to embarrass himself before standing on the mound to throw out one of the first ceremonial pitches to celebrate this $634 million dollar fiasco, to care about their problems.


As always, the poor have been left out to hang on this one, and the only surprise is that all of a sudden people are acting surprised that this screwing of the people living close to the new stadium is occurring.


No one - unless you believe in the Tooth Fairy - should believe that this sudden focus on the problems with parking is something that only came to light in the last few weeks.


Even grossly incompetent and corrupt governments like the City of Miami aren’t that stupid.  Long before the first  swing of the wrecking ball started knocking down the Orange Bowl, those responsible for thinking about the impact that a HALF BILLION DOLLAR project like this would have on the streets surrounding this new stadium were already doing studies to calculate that impact on the neighborhood.


For decades, it was common knowledge of what happened in the area when there were 6-7-8 football games, and maybe a dozen other events taking place at the Orange Bowl, so not to know or anticipate or plan for the problems that would come with having 81 home games - most at night - and another dozen or more events taking place in the new stadium months, or even years before the stadium opened is nonsense.


Not only did everyone who needed to know, know what the deal was going to be,  but if you drive around the stadium its easy to see that what is going to play out over the next year or so is a not too subtle effort to start forcing the owners of some of the properties immediately surrounding the stadium to sellout to developers.


A part of this bullshit parking problem is related to the obvious intention to “Gentrify” the neighborhood. The first step in this scheme was the one instituted last week by Noriega and the Miami Parking Authority.


Enforcing Draconian parking regulations on the poor people in the area, and forcing as many of them as possible to park blocks away from their homes and apartments for as much as a third of the year is nothing but a calculated scheme to start convincing them that rather than risk having their car broken into or stolen, or worse, being attacked and/or robbed making those nightly walks - the area is referred to by many, including members of the Miami Police Department as “Little Vietnam” because of the violence and crazy shit that occurs in the area - would be that their only recourse against this bureaucratic bitch-slap is to move.


Once you start getting folks to move, it won’t take long for the momentum of this behavior to start impacting the wider area, and also make it less likely that others will be willing to take their place by moving into the empty apartment buildings.


The best thing that could happen for the growing number of folks who are finally beginning to understand just what a nasty, clusterfuck screwing the taxpayers of Miami-Dade County really got from the politicians who pushed this deal through, is to secretly start planting markers creating a giant directional arrow pointed at the stadium to guide a Class 5 hurricane roaring directly from the ocean to the stadium this summer, ripping off the roof and dropping it off somewhere in the area of the Palmetto Expressway.


Now that would be the kind of Old Testament vengeance that might convince a lot of heathens in this town to become Christians. 


Barring that, the only way to support the folks in the neighborhoods and take a stand against this latest screwing of average folks in this community who get screwed every time the politicians come up with one of these schemes is just to stay away from the stadium! 


Show that arrogant, dickish Marlin’s President, and ALL the weasel fucks who played a part in foisting this beast on the taxpayers that they can take their baseball stadium and shove it right up their ass!


If you want to watch a baseball game, go out and support one of the college teams in town, or better yet, go support your local high school. 


Screw the Marlins, the owners, the politicians, and the stadium that your grandchildren will still be paying for in the year 2525!!!

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