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CRESPOGRAM REPORT

AUGUST 15, 2012

ROMNEY IN MIAMI
YOU CANNOT MAKE THIS CRAZINESS UP

There’s something about standing in the hot sun in the parking lot of a Cuban juice joint listening to Brad Paisley singing Old Alabama over the sound system, while waiting for Mitt Romney to show up, that makes you wonder if the 1950’s threats about fluoridation turning everybody’s brains into cow-shit might not have been true.


First, the song. It seems from the multiple times that it played, and the fact that the Romney campaign is running a campaign ad on the YouTube posting of the the music video, that this is the Romney campaign’s choice for it’s theme song.


Of course, nothing could ever be as bad as a rap song that John Kerry’s campaign used in 2004, that included the words “mother fucker,” but then maybe it’s a Massachusetts thing with these guys when it comes to choosing their campaign songs.


Then of course the story of the juice joint owned by a former cocaine smuggler is too priceless for words. Imagine this happening ANYWHERE ELSE IN AMERICA? 


Then there was the procession of usual local politicians showing up for a little face time, or even better, a little time at the microphone.

Hialeah Mayor Carlos Hernandez, hearts someone in the crowd.

The Diaz-Balart brothers and Illeana Ros-Lehtinen were the only ones to bring up the topic of Cuba.

Florida Attorney General Pam Biondi fired the crowd up over her claims that she had sued the Obama administration over Obamacare, but didn’t bother to tell them that she lost the lawsuit.

Senator Marco Rubio welcomed Romney to his “neighborhood.”

And then the Governor told a funny.  Maybe it had something to do with his tax returns, or maybe not.


But best of all was the way that Miami-Dade cops handled the Democratic protesters. No matter where else you go in America, there’s something inherently undemocratic about the way this particular police department operates.


WE SUPPORT FREE SPEECH - AS LONG AS YOU’RE OUT OF SIGHT


Around 3:30 PM, a rag tag group of about 20 protesters showed up, and stood in the median on Coral Way.

They lasted in the median for about a half hour, until one of them got their hands on a bullhorn, and actually managed to get heard above the din.


It was then that they were all ordered to cross over to the sidewalk on the South-side of Coral Way, where they continued to be heard, and then were ordered to go East a half block to the entrance of Braman’s  Honda dealership.

They didn’t last there too long before they were herded further east to the next street corner.

Just to make sure that the protesters got the message that they weren’t to even think about getting closer, out came the Police Tape.

And then to double down on the message that they were not to be seen or heard, they pulled up a couple cop cars as a barricade.  By this time it took a 400 meter lens to the the below photo.

In the end it didn’t really matter because Romney’s bus came in from the West, and neither saw or heard any of these pesky protesters.


So the teachable lesson to take away from this tale is that if you live in Miami and want to get close to Republican Presidential candidate, Mitt Romney, it’s better to be a convicted cocaine smuggler with Republican connections who owns a juice shop, than to be a noisy Democratic protester with a sign or a bullhorn.


And remember, always tell people you support the First Amendment...Just don’t tell them whose First Amendment you support!


It’s Miami, Bitches!

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