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CRESPOGRAM REPORT

DECEMBER 3, 2012

THE FREELOADER
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OUR FAVORITE COMMISSIONER’S NEVER ENDING QUEST TO CASH IN AT THE PUBLIC TROUGH, AND HAS HE LEARNED ENOUGH SPANISH FROM THE LESSONS THE TAXPAYERS PAID FOR TO ORDER A CUBAN SANDWICH AT VERSAILLES

Perhaps the most revealing thing to come out of last week’s decision by the Miami-Dade Ethics Commission finding Probable Cause that Commissioner “Ethics” Sarnoff violated the requirements to report his and his wife’s trip to Brazil earlier this year, was the admission that Sarnoff made to the Miami Herald that he had lied to them in October when, on being asked about his travels to China with the Miami Heat basketball team he had told them that the Heat had paid for his trip.


Here is what the Herald reported after the Ethics Commission’s ruling came out:


      “Sarnoff also took a trip to China this year, where he

        watched the Miami Heat play a preseason game against

        the Los Angeles Clippers. In October, Sarnoff said the

        Heat paid for his flight and hotel. On Wednesday, he

        said the Shanghai Sports Bureau paid for him and his

        wife.


        He now plans to declare that trip as a gift, he said.”


Imagine that, Sarnoff admitting in effect that he lied.  Clearly the apocalypse must be close at hand.

There was a time when you could have expected the next day’s lead editorial in the Herald would have been a strongly worded dressing down of the Commissioner for lying to them, pointing out the obligation of politicians telling the truth, and chastising him for abusing his position as an elected official to take wifey on a junket paid for by the Chinese government to watch a couple basketball games.

Of course, that was  when the Miami Herald was a newspaper that tried to have better ethics than the politicians they reported on.

Today, one has to be thankful that the editor who went over the article decided to leave that part in, instead of deleting it because it might prove embarrassing to the Commissioner

Rather than being an exception however, the finding by the Ethics Commission and the revelation in the Miami Herald that he lied about the trip to China, are all part of a persistent pattern of behavior when it comes to Commissioner “Ethics” Sarnoff and his continued efforts to abuse the public’s trust at every opportunity.

HE CAME INTO OFFICE DETERMINED TO SCREW THE POOCH

The very first story I did about Commissioner Sarnoff’s willingness to abuse his office for personal gain was how shortly after he got elected he had the City’s Capital Improvements Department illegally build a Traffic Circle at the intersection in front of his house. 


That story was followed by the 4 month series of stories I did about Sarnoff using one of the two houses on his property as an illegal office for the law firm that he and “Cousin Neil” Bayer operated for almost 10 years.


After 6 Code Violations, and a story of how his wife was having to wake up in the morning and play Swap The Car, so “Cousin Neil” could hide his car in the Sarnoff’s garage while he continued to use the house as his law office, Sarnoff finally threw in the towel and moved in with his bosom pal, Jay Solowsky at 200 SE Biscayne Boulevard, where I quickly revealed that Sarnoff was illegally using a parking spot set aside across from the Intercontinental Hotel for Official Business as his personal parking spot when he went to work.


As part of that story I also revealed the free City-Wide Parking Decal scheme operated by Sarnoff crony, Miami Parking Authority Executive Director Art Noriega, who was giving away these decals to political insiders. One of those not on the list, but who was all too happy to flaunt a decal on his windshield was Sarnoff’s “Cousin Neil.”


No matter where you turn in the City of Miami, example after example surface about how Sarnoff - often with the collusion of pliant City officials - is out to screw the pooch.


THE COMMISSIONER DECIDES TO BECOME BI-LINGUAL


After almost 5 years in office, Sarnoff decided in February of this year that he wanted to learn to speak Spanish.


As a City Commissioner, Sarnoff gets $36,000 in an unrestricted annual expense account.  he could have used part of that money to pay for these lessons, but why do that when he could instead turn to a suck-up like Kenneth Robertson, the City’s Purchasing Director, who after explaining to Sarnoff that the City’s Human Resources Department said he didn’t qualify for reimbursement under the City’s Administrative Policy Memo 1-10, that deals with Training and Development, went on to tell him how to ignore all that and just go directly to the City’s current financial wizard, Budget Director Danny Alfonso, who he was sure would be all to happy to cut him a check directly, no questions asked.

Not only was Robertson solicitous in pointing out to Sarnoff how to get around the pesky problem of his not being qualified to receive City money legitimately for the Spanish lessons, he then went on, after Sarnoff sent him the information from Berlitz, to save Sarnoff the trouble of actually having to ask Alfonso for the money.

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At this point you got to wonder just how solicitous Kenneth Robertson has been as the City’s Purchasing Director when it comes to figuring out ways to ignore or bend the rules to do favors for folks at City Hall.


It was Robertson after all, who along with City Manager Johnny “The Doormat” Martinez and Alice “In Regaladoland ” Bravo, was responsible for supervising the recent RFP for the Grove Key Marina/Scotty’s Landing that turned out to be such a fiasco for everyone except Sarnoff pal, Scott Wessel, who ended up with a 2.5 year extension on his contract to operate these properties


BUT WAIT, IT GETS BETTER


Even though Danny Alfonso was more than willing to go along with this bullshit scheme, it turned out that getting these morons to go along with this scheme just wasn’t good enough for the Commissioner, as evidenced by this string of emails.

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As you can see, it finally took the City Treasurer, and a hand delivered copy of the check to stop Sarnoff’s whining.


What was the rush?  Just why was Sarnoff all of a sudden in such a hurry to start taking Spanish lessons?  After 5 years as a City Commissioner it couldn’t be that he suddenly discovered that he couldn’t talk with the people in his District, because the only people Sarnoff cares to talk with in his District all speak English anyhow, so what was this all about?


At this point, I’m as confused as you are as to what Sarnoff was up to, and what was the real reason he needed to take Spanish lessons.


You can bet that whatever his reason, it had little or nothing to do with the taxpayers, and everything to do with Sarnoff.  Perhaps he figures he’ll need to speak Spanish if he wants to run for County Commissioner or for State Senator.  He may even be planning on expanding his law practice in ways that will require him to speak Spanish.


But to me, that’s secondary to the question of just how much Spanish he learned for the $2,601 in taxpayer money paid for the lessons.

d

According to this invoice, it appears that the taxpayers paid for 49 lessons.  That means that by now Sarnoff should be speaking pretty good Spanish.


So because I’m a firm believer that the taxpayers should know what they get for their money, I think that the City Commission should set up a time during each Commission meeting for one of the Commissioners to do a presentation on what they did with the taxpayers money. You know, something like the Show And Tell that grade school kids have to do.


I think the first of these Show And Tell sessions should be with Commissioner Sarnoff, where he should be required to speak Spanish to show the taxpayers how their money was spent.


And just to add some visual pizazz to the occasion, Sarnoff should have Kenneth Robertson sit on his lap, and move his lips while Sarnoff dazzles with his new found language skills.


To see whether the Commissioner has learned how to read Spanish, here’s a few sentences that he could say while Robertson sits on his lap.


        Quiero agradecer mi amiguito lameculo, el titere Kenneth

        Robertson, por encontrar la mejor esquema para que los    

        ciudadanos de Miami paguen por mis clases de español.

        Son las personas como Robertson que facilitan todos mis

        estafas, y mientras él hace lo que yo quiera, me aseguraré

        que mantenga su cargo.


It’s Miami, Bitches!