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CRESPOGRAM REPORT

NOVEMBER 11, 2013

WHISPERS FROM THE LUNATIC ASYLUM

I watched City Manager Johnny Martinez walk from City Hall to a waiting SUV on Friday afternoon, and he did not look good. In fact, in talking with a handful of people who’ve had an opportunity to see him up close, they wonder like I do, why he’s decided to come back to work.  Being City Manager of Miami is a stressful job, even after the budget process is over for the year, because above and beyond the normal kinds of stresses that any City Manager would be forced to deal with, this City Manager has to deal with the crazy politics that comes with a City Commission made up of the 5 Dwarfs, and most especially with the crazy shit that Luis Cabrera, Angel Zayon and the other lunatics try to do on a daily basis that I, and many others believe contributed to his having a stroke.


The stories I’m hearing now is that Martinez wasn’t even officially back on the job and Luis Cabrera was on his case arguing that he wanted to go back to the police department - I guess that my calling him the Pretend Deputy Chief of Police finally got under his skin - and that worse, his pal, former Assistant Chief of Police, Ricardo “Look Down” Roque, who was forced to retire earlier this year, wants to get rehired under a contract to be an Assistant Chief again.


To his credit, Martinez has supposedly refused to go along with the deal to rehire Roque under a contract.  It’s a stupid idea even if it wasn’t a deal that would let someone like Roque back on the force, because the only person on the police department that should be under contract is the Chief. 


Cabrera on the other hand seems determined to go back to the department, although given his behavior the last time around, the big question that no one seems to be able to answer is where could they put him so that he couldn’t do any further harm to a police department already on the ropes. The last time he was put in charge of Administration, considered to be the less stressful Division in the department, and he managed to fuck that up to the point that it led to the fateful meeting that resulted in his having his crying jag and being “fired” by Exposito.


The reason that Cabrera hasn’t been allowed to go back to the Department after he was exiled to the City Manager’s Office was that Chief Orosa refused to let him come back.  Now that Orosa is just a few months from having to retire when his DROP expires, I guess he figures that having done his own damage to the department, letting Cabrera come back would be a fitting payback to all the police officers who he called “snitches” for providing me stories about what’s going on inside the department. Chiefy has been none too happy that I know more about what goes on in his department at times than he does.


I also guess that Orosa figures that Cabrera’s lunacy would somehow stay in check until he leaves, after which, he like everyone else not directly affected, will enjoy hearing the stories of whatever craziness sparks Cabrera’s next meltdown.


Of course the person who will bear the real blame over whatever occurs if Luis Cabrera is allowed back on the police department is Mayor Tomas Regalado. Regalado is the one who has provided the political protection for Cabrera, and it will be under his orders that Martinez lets Cabrera go back to being Deputy Chief of Police.


So what’s the quid pro quo that ties Johnny Martinez’s untimely return to City Hall and Luis Cabrera’s return to the police department? 


I’ve been told that Johnny Martinez wants to get the City’s insurance to pay for his other knee replacement and rehabilitation before he finally announces his official retirement.


Now of course none of this could be true, and Johnny Martinez just missed hanging out with Luis Cabrera, Alice Bravo, Angel Zayon and all the other fun folks that have turned Miami City Hall into a lunatic asylum.


We’ll just have to wait and watch to see how this all plays out.  I will however, start a new Countdown Clock the day Cabrera goes back to the police department to see how long it takes for him to go batshit crazy.

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